Ode to Tudor

Last week, our 1988 Dodge Dynasty finally met its unfortunate demise.

He was a good car. A (pseudo) reliable one. Tom and I miss him terribly. Though he was old and its engine was rather weak (three-gear transmission), he got us through the hard times when we needed a second car. We even named him--Tudor (you know, Dynasty.... Tudor..... anyway, you know it was funny). He turned 20 this year, but his exterior looked like new. He was a good car for driving just to work and back. Poor Tudor.....

Seriously, though, he was a good car. It makes me sad that he's gone. Now Thomas and I have to decide whether to buy a cheap used car, or just survive off of our one car for the time being. I hate how life throws these little twists at you when you least expect it (we had just barely gotten back from our Thanksgiving break!). At the same time, though, things like this cause you to take a look at your life and realize what you really have, and how blessed you are. Thomas and I are out of a car we depended on for a long time, but we have our lives. The accident could have been tons worse. We're both healthy, and we have each other. We both have supportive families to help us through those hard times. We have friends to cheer us and bring good company. We both have jobs....reliable income, which many unfortunate people are without this season. We have hopes for our future, plans, goals. It's interesting how accidents like this bring people to their knees to count their blessings.

So, my "Thanksgiving Moment" came about a week late, but I hope my expressions and feelings of gratitude still count ; ) This year's Thanksgiving was memorable for many reasons, the most important of which is having spent a few days with all of my family. It was wonderful catching up with everyone and spending time with the ones we love. I will be forever grateful for the family I have been blessed with. This, coupled with our loss of Tudor, has made this Thanksgiving a contemplative one, a reflective holiday.

Tudor, we will miss you. May your spirit live on through your salvagable car parts being reattached to other driveable vehicles.

Thoughts on Proposition 8

I know that this issue is a particularly sensitive one, so I'll try to express my opinion in as sensitive a tone as possible. Proposition 8 will be voted on this November 4th, 2008. The basic idea behind Proposition 8 is the question of how marriage will be defined in the state of California: strictly between one man and one woman (heterosexual couple), or between two members of the same gender (homosexual couple). I am no longer a California resident, so my opinion will make no difference in the numerical outcome of this vote. However, this subject has occupied my mind for some time, and I feel the desire to share my testimony about families.

This being my third year teaching teenage students, I have had the opportunity to observe these wonderful kids...teach them...love them. I am with them 8 hours each day, 5 days each week, 40 weeks each year. I have also had the opportunity to associate with their parents and guardians, most of whom care deeply for their children. With this experience comes also an understanding of the integral roles of the Father and the Mother in a child's home. Children, and especially teenagers just coming into their own, need their Mothers to nurture and guide them. I cannot imagine a man, even my own Father, being capable of stepping into the role of my Mother and effectively providing me with what only she can give. Children need their Fathers to preside over their homes and be an example. Without Fathers, how would our daughters know upon what standards to judge potential boyfriends and husbands? Many of my students have been obliged to live through adolescence in the absence of a Mother or Father. I can say without any hesitation that those students suffer, academically, socially, emotionally, or all of these, with greater frequency and greater intensity than their peers who are lucky enough to have both parents in their lives.

This conclusion is not based solely on my observation...it has also been through direct conversations with the parents themselves. At Parent-Teacher Conferences, it is my job as a teacher to address any academic or behavioral issues with a particular student, and this is a chance to address it directly to the parent. In every single situation I brought up regarding students with only one parent at home, without exception, that parent used the absence of the child's Mother/Father as a part of the reason for the child's misbehavior, low scores, lack of improvement, etc. Children need both parents, their Mother and their Father.

On a less scholarly basis, I personally feel the importance of a complete family. Unfortunately in today's world, many are forced into situations where a parent is absent (such as divorce, death, military duties, etc.). However, this kind of family situation should not be endorsed by the state or nation. In the case of homosexual marriage, both parents would be present in the adopted child's life, ideally. But who would a 15 year-old daughter look up to as a Mother figure if both her parents are Fathers? Brittney Spears? Paris Hilton? The pregnant women in Hollywood? The woman across the street? If we want our daughters to grow up knowing who they are, how valuable they are, how they, as women, are so precious, then they must be taught these things in the home by their mothers. How will an 18 year-old boy know how to be a man when both his parents are Mothers? His parents can tell him all they want about what he must do and how he must act and what his responsibilities are; but what better way to teach than to show? A woman cannot show a boy how to be a man...that must be done by a Father at home who supports and loves his wife. We cannot count on television, music videos, the radio, and immature male friends to "show" our young men how to be men. Television and music and even parts of our society teach our boys that women are there to be looked at, and that you can get by in this world by joining pyramid schemes and "get rich quick" tactics. President Lincoln said: "Teach our children today, so that we do not have to teach adults tomorrow." I think this inspired advice can be well-applied in this discussion.

My last argument is of a very personal nature. My religion teaches that homosexuality is a sin. The Bible teaches that homosexuality is a sin. I am not putting out a message that says "I am holier than thou," but rather that I should not be forced, by law, to teach children that homosexuality is normal and acceptable when my personal beliefs are contrary to that. If Proposition 8 is passed, then there is nothing in the law that will force them to acknowledge something that they do not believe in; their children will not be taught in schools that homosexuality is not acceptable. However, if Proposition 8 does not pass, then children will be taught in public schools that homosexuality is acceptable. This, I believe, is a violation of one's freedom of religion and beliefs, to have no say in what children are taught that is and isn't moral in schools.

Massachussetts has already amended their State Constitution to include homosexual marriage. Since that has occurred, many in that population have suffered persecution for their religious beliefs. A Catholic Church-owned adoption agency was sued for not allowing gay couples to adopt a child from their agency. According to published Catholic doctrine, homosexuality is considered a sin and is hence unacceptable behavior. Therefore, I would say it is reasonable for a private organization to hold to certain standards as dictated by their beliefs. That agency was told by the Massachussetts government that they must allow gay couples to adopt from their institution, or they would be shut down. Rather than give in to public pressure, they stood up for what they knew was right, according to their beliefs, and suffered the consequences for it by being shut down not long after their refusal to comply with the state mandate. Another similar situation occurred to the LDS (Mormon) church in the same state. A gay couple wished to be married in an LDS building. According to LDS doctrine, homosexuality is counted as a serious sexual sin. However, upon being sued, that LDS bishop was obliged to perform a marriage ceremony for a gay couple in their building, despite that religion's outlined beliefs. I do believe in everyone being able to act according to the dictates of their own conscience. Everyone has the right to believe what he or she will. But imposing that belief on others and using the law to do so is wrong.

I do not believe that homosexuality is a normal, acceptable behavior. I do not believe, as many do, that it is genetic...I believe that it is a choice. That does not mean that I shun the person or call that person inherently bad. As many have said before me, you love the person and hate the sin. When the harlot was brought before Jesus Christ, it was proposed that she be stoned to death on account of her being caught in the act of sin. Rather than suffer her to be ridiculed or cast out or killed, Jesus lovingly dismissed her accusers and said "Neither do I condemn thee. Go, and sin no more." Jesus showed her great compassion, despite her sin (as he does with us all). Yet he did not tolerate her sin. Jesus told her to "sin no more." So I try to reflect that same compassionate, yet resolute, example set by our Savior when contemplating matters such as Proposition 8. I will not condemn or accuse gays of being sinful creatures, but show compassion and treat them as they ought to be. At the same time, I will stand for what I believe to be right, which is that homosexuality ought not to be included in the definition of marriage. Those who are part of the gay community have already been given the right to civil unions, which right carries with it all other rights offered in traditional marriage, save the name. In supporting Proposition 8, I am not limiting the rights of gay people. I mean only to preserve the definition of marriage as it was ordained of God to Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, and as God has ordained it today. Marriage should remain between husband and wife, man and woman, that our world may preserve the sacred family unit, both parents leading their children and teaching them in those things which are good.

Teacher Evaluations

This summer, all the teaching staff at my school went through a mandatory two-week training on a new teaching methodology for Language Arts. It's called the ECRI program, which stands for Exemplary Center for Reading Instruction. We were trained personally by the woman who developed the program, Dr. Ethna Reid (I think it's cool that she directs a reading program and her name is Reid...anyway...). In a nutshell, it's a direct instruction program (that means the teacher memorizes a script that can be used in several ways, and the students are instructed to give responses at certain times and their answers, if they listen closely and are doing what they should, are always right 100% of the time. That means I spent much of my summer memorizing directives (teaching instructions) and learning all about this program and how to appropriately integrate these things into my Language Arts classroom. Additionally, the implementation of this program dictates that all students spend two hours per day in Language Arts (with the exception of Wednesday...only an hour and a half).

This past week was our sixth week of school, so Dr. Reid came to our school yesterday to see for herself how we're doing the program after six weeks in school. However, it would be impossible for her to visit every single class going on. So what happens? You guessed it...my class was one of seven chosen to be observed by Dr. Reid for 40 minutes. Now, this amazing woman has spent decades developing and perfecting the program she created from scratch. She's in her eighties, I believe, but her mind is very sharp and she doesn't skip a beat. That means Dr. Reid knows her program frontwards and backwards, every directive word for word, and everything that ought to be done in a classroom that is doing ECRI. So you can imagine my anxiety and stress levels on Friday. I was told on Wednesday that I'd be observed by Dr. Reid, so I actually had about two full days to ponder my success (or lack of) in implementing the program in my classroom. Up to this week, I thought I'd been doing a pretty good job, for the most part. But then as I looked up directives given verbatim in the instructional manuals we were given this summer, I noticed all the little things I was doing wrong, and began to freak out.

Then Friday comes. If you read my last post, then you know how my morning was. When Dr. Reid finally came to my classroom, I had a weird feeling...I was nervous, but also confident at the same time. I knew that I was doing my best, my kids were performing their best, and things were going as planned. When it was time for Dr. Reid to visit another class, she asked if she could interrupt for a minute, and praised the class (and me, to my embarassment) for our success in the program. Something kind of funny...right after Dr. Reid left the room, one of my students turned to me and said my face looked ruddy. It's funny because one of the words I taught them this week was ruddy, which means a healthy, lively red color in someone's face. After she left, I was so proud of my children that I let them out for a 20-minute recess : ) . After school we had a staff meeting where Dr. Reid talked with us about some things she noticed, and she specifically mentioned how I did a great job and the kids were so bright. While she was observing us, I had the kids read some of their stories from their writing notebooks. They are supposed to write stories using as many new spelling words as possible in the correct context. After class, Dr. Reid asked if I could photocopy a story that one of my students wrote. I was proud, and that one student was very proud that he was being recognized. All in all, it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be, and I found that I shouldn't doubt my abilities so much. It's nice to hear that you're doing a good job as a teacher.

TGIF?

After a long week of school, students, parents, grading, and staff meetings, it is finally Friday, a teacher's favorite time of the week. Time to relax, right? Well, I was fooled too. Yesterday morning, I made the mistake of sleeping in an extra 15 minutes and had to rush out the door to make it to school at a reasonable time. It usually takes me about 20 minutes to get to school...10 minutes actually getting to the freeway from my house, and then 10 minutes on the freeway (my school is about 30 seconds away from the American Fork offramp, fortunately). Since BYU school has started, getting to the freeway has been that much more difficult. Students are walking all over the place so you have to stop every 5 yards to let someone cross the street, and the roads are packed with students trying to get a somewhat close spot in the overcrowded parking lots. So after about 10 minutes, I'm almost to the freeway, having endured the never-ending student pedestrians and million-bazillion cars. The onramp is in sight, and I exhale a sigh of relief: I'll make it to school 10 minutes before classes start...not ideal, but hey, it's enough time to get the essentials taken care of before class.

I'm watching in the distance the final stoplight before the onramp, seeing that it's red...perfect. By the time I get there, it will be green and I can cruise on through and onto the freeway. As I drive on, I notice a man walking on the ill-marked crosswalk. I quickly judge that this man far enough away that my car is in no danger of hitting this pedestrian. I remember the rule that I learned in traffic school a year ago: the "halfway rule." This rule, provided by the police officer running the traffic school, states that regarding one's obligation to yield to pedestrians, one may pass through if the pedestrian has not yet walked halfway across the street and onto your side of the road. In this instance, the man using the crosswalk had not yet passed the halfway point. There were five lanes to intersect, from his point of view: two lanes heading east, then a turning lane, and finally two other lanes heading west. At the time I crossed over the crosswalk, the man was just beginning to pass in front of the turning lane. I was in the far right lane...meaning, the man was three whole lanes away from me. I had no sooner driven across the crosswalk that Provo police sirens went off and pulled not just me, but two vehicles. The woman in the car behind me also drove through the crosswalk.

Well, to make a long story short, this extremely rude cop issued a citation (I don't know if a citation and ticket are the same thing...we'll see, I guess) to both me and the other driver. I had no time to present an argument to the officer because I was busy trying to call my school and let them know I'd be late and would need a substitute to cover my first class that day, as well as keep myself from crying (unsuccessfully...I'm not a baby, but the stresses of the week and the utter unfairness of the situation were too much for me to take). The officer didn't take the time to ask why I was in such a hurry, or where I was headed, or what my point of view was as the driver. He simply instructed me to sign a sheet of paper saying that I will appear in court, and then left me with "have a nice day." Thanks.

Something fishy

About a week and a half ago, Thomas and I were browsing through the meat section as Smith's. Usually we go to Macy's for our meat because they have the better meat prices, but we were at Smith's for breads and canned goods and stuff and just happened to notice that they had a few things on sale. We happened upon some Red Snapper that was on sale, so we bought it. I really like fish, and Thomas really enjoyed a Red Snapper dish we had while on our honeymoon cruise. When we got home we put it in the fridge, intending to eat it the next day, since that night's meal was already planned.

When the next day came, so did Tom's mom, who helped us with peach and nectarine canning all weekend. Let me tell you, canning takes up the entire kitchen...stove, oven, sink, counters...EVERYTHING!! So the red snapper didn't happen the next two days while we canned like crazy. Then the next day, I didn't feel like cooking so we went out to eat. Finally, the next day, we remember that the snapper is still in the fridge, and fish is something that you want to use up quickly. Sidenote: I'm trying to lose weight and have been working out at Gold's Gym for the past few months...to help with that, our trainer has recommended that we not eat our meals past 8:30pm so the food doesn't sit in our stomachs undigested or partially digested while we sleep. Anyway...that night it was already 7:45 when we discovered that our snapper was still in the fridge. Snapper takes a while to prepare and to cook, so at that point it was too late to start cooking it. But when we took it out of the paper wrapping, it smelled a bit fishy. Not too bad, but kinda fishy. We were afraid that the snapper would go bad in the next 24 hours, so we put it in the freezer, feeling proud of ourselves for preserving the now semi-fresh fish. Well, something we didn't think about was the fact the fish fillets were all mushed together in a giant lump when the package is all folded and rolled up, so the snapper froze that way in the freezer. When I took it out of the freezer the next day, I held a solid ice-clump of fish.

I desperately tried to thaw it by letting the fish mass sit under running cold water, but to no avail. All I got was a fleshy outside and a still-icy, rock-hard nucleus. At this point, I put the snapper in the fridge, anticipating that the cooler temperature will naturally thaw the fish without it going bad because it's still quite cold and icy. The next day, it was still as icy as before, which really frustrated me because any other kind of meat usually thaws in the fridge within a day or two. So, I thought, let's leave it in the fridge one more day to thaw completely. Next day...a little fleshier, but still frozen solid in the middle. So I let it sit in the fridge for one more day. Meanwhile, Tom and I get a nice whiff of old fish every time we open the fridge. Finally, tonight, Thomas and I take a look at the fish, which is now completely thawed out. On the downside, though, the fish smells nasty! Not only that, but while sitting in our fridge, it leaked out some yucky sticky fish juice all over the shelf. Eeeewww! Luckily, tomorrow is trash day, so we simply rewrapped the nasty disintegrating fish, wrapped it in a Smith's grocery bag, and threw it in the trash barrel.

Tom feels really bad because he HATES wasting food, and it was he who first insisted on getting the fish. As for me, I'm glad to be done with it. It's been like a burden hanging over me for the past week and a half, and now I can rest in peace (along with my nose). Moral of the story: buy fish only if you can eat it that night, or the next night AT THE LATEST!

"Legal" Woes

So Thomas and I will be going to Greece next year with my 8th grade students on an educational trip (yay!). My passport is still good for another few years, but I thought I may as well get a new passport issued with my married name. In order for me to get a new passport issued, I need to update my Social Security record. For some reason, I hadn't done this a long time ago when Tom and I were first married. So, now I'm trying to get my name changed on all my important governmental records. Today is the second time I've visited the Social Security office, and it's the second time I've been told that what I have isn't good enough documentation. First time I went, I thought that simply presenting two driver's licenses (one with my old name and one with my new name) would be sufficient. They told me that I must have my marriage certificate in addition to a driver's license. Today I went again (and even left school 45 minutes early to get to the office before it closed) and showed them our copy of our marriage certificate. Well, apparently, a regular copy isn't good enough. I need to have an "official" certified copy from San Diego County with the cool embossed letters and the shiny bumpy logo on it and stuff. Which means, therefore, that I have to spend $13.00 to get a "real" copy of my own marriage. I'm not trying to take over the world, folks! I just want to have my name changed! I didn't have to show all that stuff to get a Utah driver's license in my married name. Oh, and this is great...listen to this...so my "unofficial" copy of the certificate isn't good enough legal documentation...but, apparently, the cute little certificate that you get from the temple DOES!! But guess what? Thomas and I never picked up the cute little certificate from the temple after we were married! Grrr!!! So yeah, I only have a few months left to get my new passport issued, and I still have to get either a legal copy from the San Diego County Recorder, or get a hold of the San Diego temple and ask them if they have our certificate. We probably won't even have the "proper" documentation in our hands until next week, and our trip is in March. It's cutting it close, since Social Security takes forever to get anything done (I sat in their office for 45 minutes today just to have a 45 second conversation), and then I still need AT LEAST 6 weeks to get my passport information processed and stuff. I love our country and I'm glad we're safe and everything, but for goodness' sake.....I'm not an evil person trying to thwart the system! Just let me use my "unofficial" copy and get it over with. Seriously, it's not like I took the time to alter the text of the thing and pass it off as a real one. I'm just a normal person trying to get these tedious things done so I can move on with the rest of my life. Anyway....I hope I can get these things taken care of in time so I don't have to rush things before our trip.

Hot Chocolate

I just wanted to say that I love hot chocolate! Today has been a rather overcast day in Provo, Utah, and there's nothing that can make an overcast day better than a warm mug of hot chocolate. And not only that, but there are so many different flavors of hot chocolate to perfectly suit your mood! If I'm in a sophisticated mood, I'll settle down with some Irish Cream. If I'm looking for comfort, I'll bust out some Chocolate Raspberry. If I'm in the rare mood for something nutty, I'll take out some Hazlenut Chocolate. I'll even have some Orange Creme if I'm in a unique enough mood! I think I'm going for some Raspberry hot chocolate right now. What's your favorite?

Today is Saturday!

Hey everyone! This is my first post on my new blog. I'm still trying to figure out how this all works, but I'm sure I'll get the hang of it. I'm not expecting a lot of people to actually read this because it will mostly be boring stuff going on in my life, with some random things here and there, like poems that I think sound cool but actually aren't, personal opinions about today's news, things that go on in my classroom, etc. On to my first topic.....

Today is Saturday!! I love Saturdays, because the school week just barely ended and I still have an extra day to relax before starting the week again. That means I have one more day to procrastinate my assignments, chores, and any and all responsibilities! Today I woke up, made the most substantial breakfast I've had in a week, and then spent an hour at Gold's Gym. Friday nights and Saturdays are the best times of the week!