I know that this issue is a particularly sensitive one, so I'll try to express my opinion in as sensitive a tone as possible. Proposition 8 will be voted on this November 4th, 2008. The basic idea behind Proposition 8 is the question of how marriage will be defined in the state of California: strictly between one man and one woman (heterosexual couple), or between two members of the same gender (homosexual couple). I am no longer a California resident, so my opinion will make no difference in the numerical outcome of this vote. However, this subject has occupied my mind for some time, and I feel the desire to share my testimony about families.
This being my third year teaching teenage students, I have had the opportunity to observe these wonderful kids...teach them...love them. I am with them 8 hours each day, 5 days each week, 40 weeks each year. I have also had the opportunity to associate with their parents and guardians, most of whom care deeply for their children. With this experience comes also an understanding of the integral roles of the Father and the Mother in a child's home. Children, and especially teenagers just coming into their own, need their Mothers to nurture and guide them. I cannot imagine a man, even my own Father, being capable of stepping into the role of my Mother and effectively providing me with what only she can give. Children need their Fathers to preside over their homes and be an example. Without Fathers, how would our daughters know upon what standards to judge potential boyfriends and husbands? Many of my students have been obliged to live through adolescence in the absence of a Mother or Father. I can say without any hesitation that those students suffer, academically, socially, emotionally, or all of these, with greater frequency and greater intensity than their peers who are lucky enough to have both parents in their lives.
This conclusion is not based solely on my observation...it has also been through direct conversations with the parents themselves. At Parent-Teacher Conferences, it is my job as a teacher to address any academic or behavioral issues with a particular student, and this is a chance to address it directly to the parent. In every single situation I brought up regarding students with only one parent at home, without exception, that parent used the absence of the child's Mother/Father as a part of the reason for the child's misbehavior, low scores, lack of improvement, etc. Children need both parents, their Mother and their Father.
On a less scholarly basis, I personally feel the importance of a complete family. Unfortunately in today's world, many are forced into situations where a parent is absent (such as divorce, death, military duties, etc.). However, this kind of family situation should not be endorsed by the state or nation. In the case of homosexual marriage, both parents would be present in the adopted child's life, ideally. But who would a 15 year-old daughter look up to as a Mother figure if both her parents are Fathers? Brittney Spears? Paris Hilton? The pregnant women in Hollywood? The woman across the street? If we want our daughters to grow up knowing who they are, how valuable they are, how they, as women, are so precious, then they must be taught these things in the home by their mothers. How will an 18 year-old boy know how to be a man when both his parents are Mothers? His parents can tell him all they want about what he must do and how he must act and what his responsibilities are; but what better way to teach than to show? A woman cannot show a boy how to be a man...that must be done by a Father at home who supports and loves his wife. We cannot count on television, music videos, the radio, and immature male friends to "show" our young men how to be men. Television and music and even parts of our society teach our boys that women are there to be looked at, and that you can get by in this world by joining pyramid schemes and "get rich quick" tactics. President Lincoln said: "Teach our children today, so that we do not have to teach adults tomorrow." I think this inspired advice can be well-applied in this discussion.
My last argument is of a very personal nature. My religion teaches that homosexuality is a sin. The Bible teaches that homosexuality is a sin. I am not putting out a message that says "I am holier than thou," but rather that I should not be forced, by law, to teach children that homosexuality is normal and acceptable when my personal beliefs are contrary to that. If Proposition 8 is passed, then there is nothing in the law that will force them to acknowledge something that they do not believe in; their children will not be taught in schools that homosexuality is not acceptable. However, if Proposition 8 does not pass, then children will be taught in public schools that homosexuality is acceptable. This, I believe, is a violation of one's freedom of religion and beliefs, to have no say in what children are taught that is and isn't moral in schools.
Massachussetts has already amended their State Constitution to include homosexual marriage. Since that has occurred, many in that population have suffered persecution for their religious beliefs. A Catholic Church-owned adoption agency was sued for not allowing gay couples to adopt a child from their agency. According to published Catholic doctrine, homosexuality is considered a sin and is hence unacceptable behavior. Therefore, I would say it is reasonable for a private organization to hold to certain standards as dictated by their beliefs. That agency was told by the Massachussetts government that they must allow gay couples to adopt from their institution, or they would be shut down. Rather than give in to public pressure, they stood up for what they knew was right, according to their beliefs, and suffered the consequences for it by being shut down not long after their refusal to comply with the state mandate. Another similar situation occurred to the LDS (Mormon) church in the same state. A gay couple wished to be married in an LDS building. According to LDS doctrine, homosexuality is counted as a serious sexual sin. However, upon being sued, that LDS bishop was obliged to perform a marriage ceremony for a gay couple in their building, despite that religion's outlined beliefs. I do believe in everyone being able to act according to the dictates of their own conscience. Everyone has the right to believe what he or she will. But imposing that belief on others and using the law to do so is wrong.
I do not believe that homosexuality is a normal, acceptable behavior. I do not believe, as many do, that it is genetic...I believe that it is a choice. That does not mean that I shun the person or call that person inherently bad. As many have said before me, you love the person and hate the sin. When the harlot was brought before Jesus Christ, it was proposed that she be stoned to death on account of her being caught in the act of sin. Rather than suffer her to be ridiculed or cast out or killed, Jesus lovingly dismissed her accusers and said "Neither do I condemn thee. Go, and sin no more." Jesus showed her great compassion, despite her sin (as he does with us all). Yet he did not tolerate her sin. Jesus told her to "sin no more." So I try to reflect that same compassionate, yet resolute, example set by our Savior when contemplating matters such as Proposition 8. I will not condemn or accuse gays of being sinful creatures, but show compassion and treat them as they ought to be. At the same time, I will stand for what I believe to be right, which is that homosexuality ought not to be included in the definition of marriage. Those who are part of the gay community have already been given the right to civil unions, which right carries with it all other rights offered in traditional marriage, save the name. In supporting Proposition 8, I am not limiting the rights of gay people. I mean only to preserve the definition of marriage as it was ordained of God to Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, and as God has ordained it today. Marriage should remain between husband and wife, man and woman, that our world may preserve the sacred family unit, both parents leading their children and teaching them in those things which are good.
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